The Adventures of an Idiot
by Willowfur and Piper
Summary: In reality, Belmonts are smart, stratgical people? So, what the hell happened to Gale? An attempt at humor, co-written by ShappireMax.


Charlotte Faith Messer walked into her house followed by Max San Yuki. The smell of smoke wafted throughout her house. Lindsey Liza Katsu- Charlotte's apprentice- bounded in after them. Charlotte's cat, Nala, sprang out of the house once the door opened.

Max let out a cough as she entered Charlotte's home. Her long, ember colored hair led up a small patch of red at the top was thrown into a messy ponytail and she was wearing exercise clothing. Sweat was dripping down her body.

Charlotte was sweating too. Every other morning Charlotte and Max went out for a run/jog around the neighborhood. Charlotte's messy, dark brown hair with purplish highlights was down.

"What the hell is that?" Charlotte asked Max.

"Don't know Faith," Max said. Max always called her by her middle name. Charlotte didn't really care half the time.

"It's coming from the kitchen," Lindsey said.

The trio went towards the source of the smoke. What Charlotte, Max and Lindsey found was, in a weird twisted way, was usual. Only, normally, it wasn't Charlotte's kitchen or a kitchen at all.

They saw, none other than Gale Belmont there, with a towel in hand trying to put out the fire.

Charlotte started fuming. In Max's point of view, she might have well been adding to the flame. The flames started to rise, for the first time, it occurred to Max that Charlotte might have been unintentionally, making the fire grow.

"Faith," Max yelled.

"What?" she responded.

"He didn't mean it, don't help the flame," Max said.

Charlotte thought about it. Then cooled down a little. She sighed, muttered some words and the flame went out.

Max blankly wondered how she did that. Then she remembered that Charlotte was a witch. It was a weird fact that, for some reason, Max always forgot. She didn't know why.

Charlotte's yelling brought her back to Earth. "You idiot! What the hell were you doing? Trying to burn the house down?"

Gale's voice sounded a squeaky "No."

Charlotte continued to glared at him.

After another hour, the house-except for the stove- looked like nothing happened. Charlotte calmed down a bit and Max fixed some cereal.

In another half an hour, the four were laughing about old flashbacks and telling stories. Although, everyone had better things to do, they rarely got the chance to sit down and enjoy themselves. Especially with Gale keeping them on their toes.

"Hey guys, remember when we met Gale? That was funny," May commented.

"Yeah, what was it? High School? College?" Charlotte said. Not wasting another minute she fired a story about how her, Max and Lindsey met Gale.

* * *

_Gale Belmont was never the smartest one around, the sharpest tool in the shed. He often did stupid things that made people laugh. _

_Charlotte was the smart, witty girl everyone loved. So, it was weird how a half blank person like Max became friends with her. It was even weirder how she and Gale became friends. _

_Apparently, Gale loved to go to supermarkets. He wandered around pointlessly, trying to find his way through the aisles of foods, labeled with marks. His mom wanted some sugar and Gale offered to go get some. _

_No matter how many times Gale went into the same Big M Supermarket, he always got lost when he wandered towards the bakery. The Big M had the best premade cakes in a small town like Carlen, New York. _

_Charlotte was brought to the Big M that day was the fact that she needed some Chocolate Chips, flour, vanilla and some sugar for her cookies. Her mom had to go to a dinner this weekend and had to bring a desert. She wasn't feeling the best that day so Charlotte offered to make cookies for her. _

_Charlotte was at the bakery too, that day. Her sister asked her to get a "Happy Birthday" cake for her friend. _

_When Charlotte walked up to the bakery, she saw Gale scanning the cakes and pastries that were on display. Charlotte recognized him from school. She saw him wandering the halls at time. _

_Gale didn't notice her; he was too busy eyeing the chocolate sprinkled cup cake that was on display. He had money, but he needed to get sugar for his mother. _

_Charlotte eyed Gale carefully. "See something you like in there?"_

_Gale jumped. "Um."_

_He didn't have an answer._

_Charlotte turned to the man behind the counter. He had the outfit warn by all the bakers at the Big M. Charlotte pointed at the cupcake and handed some money to the man._

_She took the cupcake and looked at Gale who was bouncing up and down with excitement, looking like a 4 year old getting a treat. _

"_Here," she said. Gale grabbed it quickly and it was gone in seconds. Gale smiled at him, chocolate covered his face. _

_She quickly ordered her sister's cake and headed to the baking goods aisle. _

_Gale, suddenly alone looked around for the pretty girl who bought him the cupcake. He still needed to find the precious sugar._

_He sighed and headed towards the baking (well, he thought it was the baking goods aisle) aisle, only to find boxes of brand cereal lined up on the shelves. _

_He looked around the aisle, confused. His confused look quickly turned into a frown. _

_He scanned the shelves looking for anything that said "sugar"; he only found sugar mixed in with cereal. Nothing that said just sugar, no cereal added. At last, he gave up and left the aisle. _

_Meanwhile, in the baking aisle, Charlotte had gathered her items and was heading towards the pickup line for the cake, since, the baker only had to put some words on the cake she ordered. She spotted a curious and very confused Gale, leaving the breakfast aisle. _

"_Having troubles?" she asked coming up to him. _

_Gale looked at her. "They don't have sugar here. Only sugar mixed with cereal, like were supposed to pick it out or something," she stated._

_Charlotte let out a giggle._

_Gale saw the sugar in Charlotte's basket. "Hey, where did you get that?"_

"_The baking aisle," Charlotte said. _

_Gale let out an "ooohhh" and followed Charlotte to the baking aisle. _

* * *

Max yawned as Charlotte told the story of how she and Gale met. She had heard it before. Lindsey was all ears thought. She had never heard how the two met and often wondered how someone as stupid as Gale met someone as smart as Charlotte. From what she got, they became good friends after.

In her opinion, what was even funnier is how Max and Gale met.

"So, Max, after that, did Charlotte introduce you to Gale?" Lindsey asked.

"No, we met in a Wal Mart," Max said.

Lindsey looked at her funny. Without wasting another minute, Max started a story on how she and Gale met.

* * *

_Max San Yuki sat alone in her little house with nothing to do. She sighed and grabbed a pile of cash, pulled on her coat and grabbed her backpack. _

_She headed out towards the Wal Mart down the street. As she entered, she saw a kid from her school jumping in and out of the automatic doors all Wal Marts had. _

_She ignored the kid and went wandering through the Wal Mart. She wandered over the electronics part of the store. Although she felt someone was following her, she ignored the feeling and walked towards the back of the store. _

_Again, the feeling came and she whipped around, feeling like an idiot with everyone watching. She located a pair of eyes through the clothes rack and she headed over. She harshly shoved the clothes away to find nothing there. _

_She felt like she was being watched again. Again, she whipped around and looked around, getting strange looks from the people around her. _

_This time, whoever was watching her was in behind the shoe racks. Before he could move, she was there, looking, glaring, at him. She recognized the kid who was opening and closing the automatic doors at the front of the Wal Mart. _

"_What are you doing?" Max asked. _

"_Hide and seek," he said. _

_Max looked at him like he grew two heads. "Just who the hell are you?"_

"_Gale," he said._

"_Gale who? I swear I've seen you," Max said. _

"_Gale Belmont," he said. _

"_Belmont?" she asked, curious. _

"_Yeah, we have a cool whip thingy that I swing around and kill stuff," Gal said. _

"_Clean up, aisle 3," an announcer said from the speakers that swung above them. Gale jumped up, literally 3 feet in the air and landed in Max's arms. _

_Max looked about ready to slap him, tell him how important that whip was but stopped. Charlotte would do that later, cos Charlotte needed to know._

"_I want you to come meet my friend, she'll be interested in finding a Belmont," Max said. _

"_Well I don't want to," Gale said crossing his arms and pouting like an 8 year old. _

_Max suppressed a wave of anger. "If you come later, I'll play Hide and Seek with you now."_

_Gale's eyes sparkled. "Ok." He dashed off then came back. "You hide now."_

_He dashed off again. _

_Max sighed and decided to play his silly game. She closed her eyes and counted to 20 and opened her eyes. _

_She had to have been wandering the store for at least 50 minutes. Where ever Gale was hiding, it was a good place. Or maybe she wasn't trying? Or perhaps Gale was a good hider. She would never know, nor did she really care. _

_Finally, after an old lady in one of those electric wheelchairs knocked down a whole display of cans labeled "Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup", she found Gale. He had, somehow got into the middle of the cans, making so the cans covered him up so he could not be found. _

"_Found you" Max said._

_This game went on for another 5 hours before Gale got tired and started to head home, forgetting about Max who was hiding. _

_About half way home, Gale realized he forgot Max in the Wal Mart. He raced back to the Wal Mart to find Max, waiting there with an I'm-pissed- so-don't-talk-to-me look. _

_Max had gotten tired of hiding and went to find Gale, only, to catch him leaving. Deciding he would remember eventually, she waited at the front of the Wal Mart, fuming, while he had his head ducked in shame as he walked up. _

"_Sorry," Gale said. _

_Max sighed and shook her head._


End file.
